Why Talking Therapy Isn’t Always Enough (And What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You)

If you’re a mother who’s quietly (or not so quietly) spiralling, living with anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or a constant sense of unease, you are not alone. You might have already tried to get help. You might be in talking therapy, journaling at night, listening to podcasts, trying to “think positively,” or doing everything in your power to feel better. But something still isn’t shifting. It’s like your body, your mind, or both just can't stop. And you’re starting to wonder: What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I feel better? Let me say this clearly: There is nothing wrong with you. It’s not that you’re doing something wrong; it’s that most of us have never been taught how to work with our nervous system.

You’re Not Just in Your Head. You’re in Your Body, Too.

You Can’t Talk Your Way Out of a Body That Feels Unsafe

Parenthood, especially in the early years, can be one of the most emotionally and physically overwhelming experiences of your life. And no one tells you that. You’ve spent years, maybe decades, building a life that felt safe. You shaped your routines, your space, your relationships, maybe even your career around a sense of control. Your nervous system liked that; it craved it. Because at its core, your body is always scanning for safety. Then, along comes parenthood.

The sleep deprivation. The hormonal shifts. The identity shake-up. The loss of space and time to think, let alone process. And suddenly, your well-regulated system is flooded with stress; it can’t escape from the constant demands, and the whispering thoughts inside about how hard this is.

Your Body Is Holding the Stress Your Mind Can’t Solve

Muscle tension. Digestive issues. Jaw pain. Migraines. Chronic fatigue. These aren’t random. They’re often the body’s way of carrying unprocessed stress or past emotional experiences. Studies have shown that emotional pain, especially from early life or repeated overwhelm, can settle into specific areas of the body. You might be:

• Clenching your jaw because your voice never felt heard.

• Feeling constant heaviness in your shoulders from “carrying” everything alone.

• Dealing with lower back pain from feeling unsupported or unsafe for too long.

• Battling gut issues because fear and anxiety live in your stomach.

This is not weakness. This is biology. Your body is doing its best to protect you, but it needs your help to feel safe again.

Talking Alone Can’t Release What Your Body Is Holding

Traditional talking therapy can be powerful. It can give language to your experience, help you understand your past, and shine a light on your patterns. But if you’ve been in therapy and still feel stuck in a cycle of spiralling anxiety or numbness, likely something is missing: the body. That’s because we don’t just experience emotions in the mind; we store them in the body. When we can’t act on our stress (like shouting, crying, resting, or running), it stays lodged in the muscles, fascia, and nervous system, never completing its natural cycle. Over time, this can create a chronic state of dysregulation. For some, that looks like high alert, overthinking, panic, insomnia, or irritability. For others, it shows up as exhaustion, brain fog, flatness, or disconnection. And if you’ve found yourself bouncing between the two? That’s normal, too. You are not broken. You’re burnt out.

There Is a Way to Gently Rewire the Spiral

The good news is this: just as your body learned to hold stress, it can learn to release it.

Somatic therapy, breathwork, mindful visualisation, and nervous system regulation practices help you retrain your body to feel safe, from the inside out. These tools don’t require hours of time or perfect conditions. Just small, consistent moments. For example, when you visualise a calm, familiar place, your gran’s garden, a quiet corner, a beautiful beach, your brain lights up as if you’re there. That sense of safety becomes something your nervous system remembers. Each time you practice, you’re reinforcing a new association: This is what calm feels like. This is my reset point.

With gentle repetition, these micro-moments become a lifeline. Not to escape reality, but to anchor you within it.

Healing Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

In my work with mothers, I don’t offer a cookie-cutter plan or a single method.

Instead, I draw from a range of evidence-based tools, CBT, somatic therapy, breathwork, mindfulness, trauma-informed techniques, and hypnotherapy, and blend them in a way that’s personal to you. Your story, your symptoms, your pace. Some mothers find relief through nervous system visualisation. Others need body-based grounding. Some need space to speak the truth they’ve never said aloud. Most need a mix. This work is deeply individual because you are deeply individual. And your healing deserves to be, too.

You Are Not Too Far Gone. You Just Haven’t Been Taught This Yet.

You don’t have to wait until life gets quieter, or until you “snap out of it,” or until you’ve earned rest. You’re allowed to feel better now. You’re allowed to learn a new way. If this resonated, you’re not alone, and you’re not beyond help. You’re just a mother who’s been holding too much for too long. And now, it’s your turn to be held.